Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read On - Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Secret of Happiness

Being "in love" is wonderful. You smile more. You laugh spontaneously. Your step is livelier. Common, everyday things - activities you've done for years - seem wonderfully different. And all things are "right" in your world.

In other words, happiness is at an all-time high.

Then something happens...

...If you are heartbroken, if you are hurting, angry, depressed, or feel like everything doesn't matter anymore, utterly hopeless, I truly empathize. Believe me, I've been there.

Heartbreak - the dark, soul-wrenching, and debilitating type - is not something I would wish upon anyone! It can paralyze and taint our minds with all things negative.

But there is hope. Really. And I urge you to read on.

Let me share some powerful thoughts with you; thoughts that helped me recover and heal my broken heart; thoughts that rebuilt my inner world; thoughts that nourished my self-esteem, reinstated my faith in the people around me and the world, and most importantly, allowed me to be able to love again.

- Heartbreak -

Maybe you spent weeks or even months secretly admiring someone from afar and finally summoned up the courage to ask her/him out - only to be flat out rejected

Maybe your lover does something ugly, abusive, or insensitive.

What if, with or without warning, your partner abandons you?

Maybe all was going well; then suddenly, a freak accident, war, or natural disaster takes the life of your partner - leaving you shocked, bewildered, and heartbroken.

What if your partner is stricken with an incurable illness?

Supposedly, the death of a loved one via a slow, chronic disease process gives you time to prepare for the inevitable heartbreak. There's time to talk - whether she/he is coherent or not. When death finally comes, you're supposed to tell yourself that the suffering has ended and she/he has gone to a better place.

But in my personal experience, the heartbreak is no less severe.

Anyway you put it, heartbreak sucks!

Why does it feel so bad? Because we suffer from severe withdrawal symptoms. The good, positive, and happy things in our lives; things that we thought we deserved, things that we counted on to be there (and enjoy) forever are taken away.

Emotionally and physically, we had grown accustomed to, looked forward to, and expected the wonderful, positive feelings and intimacies we used to share with our partner.

And now they're gone.

Sometimes this happens abruptly; sometimes it's a slow, painful process of your partner slipping away a little more each day. You try to stop it, but you know that you can't make anyone do anything if they really don't want to do it.

You feel helpless. You acquiesce. You demand. You cry. You scream. Sometimes, you destroy things, yourself, or other people.

Sadly, in spite of your uneducated efforts, the breakup occurs, and the heartbreak monster quickly begins to sit on your chest; sending nasty and ugly thoughts into your mind via its long, hideous tentacles.

In the case of a lost lover, your mind plays tricks on you. You start catching glimpses of your Ex in public everywhere! A familiar song triggers another flood of tears. You feel like nothing will ever fill the void left by the person you've spent so much of your life and emotions on.

You try to distract yourself with activities and friends, but it's futile. The more you try to forget, the more you remember. You feel like "half a person" and you wonder if you'll ever be "whole" again.

You are at the mercy of the ebb and flow of your self-pity and/or rage. Your self-esteem and self-control take wild, see-saw swings, moving from one extreme to the other because of some sensory trigger (i.e., something you see, hear, taste, smell, or touch reminds you of your loss); or sometimes, for no apparent reason, a grief session strikes totally at random.

After each wave of tearful convulsions, instead of feeling free, you feel more exhausted and forlorn.

Sometimes you're strong. Sometimes you're weak. Sometimes it's easy (especially during the day when you're busy at work) to resist contacting your Ex. But when things are quiet and you're alone, the temptation is so strong!

Resist it. In your hurt state, it will only prolong the healing process.

Other people will keep saying that "time will heal your wounds" and that you'll find someone else. But while in the depths of heartbreak, none of that advice is comforting. You appreciate your friends' kind sympathies, but let's face it, when you're actively experiencing heartbreak, their advice - no matter how sound it is, seems like a drop of ineffective medicine in the ocean of your sadness.

The experience of heartbreak is truly the antithesis of being "in love."

The feelings of immense loss, sadness, depression, and anger can be overwhelming.

It took me years of mistakes and a long track record of heartbreaks to finally realize that I was pretty stupid on this subject. I admitted to myself that all my personal methods of coping were inevitably ineffective and usually destructive (to me or to someone else).

I needed knowledge and insight. And I needed it badly!

I did several internet searches on "healing, treatment, heartbreak, heartbroken, etc." and spent days reading countless articles and references about broken hearts and recommended remedies.

Some articles were obviously from spurned lovers who were still angry and venting. Many articles were spiritual. Other articles gave stringent, cookbook instructions that sounded more academic - almost sterile, than practical.

For me, heartbreak - and how to recover from it - has been a long time coming. I tried all the recommended practices:

I re-experienced the bad feelings and let myself cry - something not easy for a man. I had to find secluded places or people I was comfortable with and could trust. Then I cried like a baby.

I tried to distract myself with other activities.

I made a list of all the bad things my Ex-lover did and tried to remember them whenever I was lonely and wrestling with the idea of contacting her again.

I wrote an unsent grief letter to my Ex, reading it many times a week to nurture any fledgling feelings of strength and recovery.

I made a list of our good times, trying to appreciate the joy and lessons learned from the relationship.

Unfortunately, these and other conventional practices didn't work for me. I still felt crappy, empty.

I desperately waited for "The Sign" - the feeling that I'll finally be alright; the belief in my innate worthiness; the feeling of certainty, direction, and confidence; and most importantly, the feeling that love will enter my life again.

But, after all my attempts at fixing my broken heart in the normal ways failed, I still felt bad, like it was so hopeless.

Here I was: miserably heartbroken, missing all the feelings of being in love, and impervious to the treatments, normal practices, and recommendations for healing in such situations.

It's taken many heartbreaks (and even more mistakes at trying to cope) to finally realize that I needed to learn better ways to recover, to get over it permanently.

Finally, after reading, reading, and more reading, the veil of mystery over heartbreak and its cure was slowly being lifted.

- The Only Thing That Worked For Me. And It Can Work For You! -

Let me share with you the only way I've found to cure my own broken heart.

Please read it slowly and carefully. Read it a few times. Commit it to memory. Remember it, especially when you feel a wave of negative emotion ready to engulf you again. Use it to prevent any potential relapses of self-pity or rage.

Here goes...

In order to take back control of your emotions (and life), you need to learn what the cause of being "in love" is. Only then can you understand what being "in love" really is. These are the first steps in effectively making your way back to happy living.

- The Cause of Being "In Love" -

Realize this: "You Can't Be "In Love" Unless YOU Love!"

In other words: IT IS YOU THAT CAUSES YOUR OWN FEELINGS OF BEING IN LOVE - NO ONE ELSE. PERIOD. NOTHING OUTSIDE OF YOURSELF CAUSES YOUR OWN FEELINGS. YOU CAN'T BE "IN LOVE" UNLESS YOU ARE LOVING.

Think of it. It is the person doing the loving that experiences the feelings of being "in love." If you don't think of a person in a loving way, you don't get the feelings of being "in love."

Skeptical?

- Just Another Person In The Elevator -

Imagine this. You are in a public elevator with a stranger. Automatically, you immediately make an assessment and quickly register your impressions of this stranger in your mind.

You decide that 1) she/he is not a threat, 2) is not particularly attractive or unattractive, and 3) that you can quit the evaluation and move on with your day. In short, the other person is neutral; just another person in the elevator.

Are you "in love" with this person, the neutral stranger? Of course not! Why? BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO THINK OF THAT PERSON IN A LOVING WAY.

Do you get my point? Believe it or not, you have total control of your love and feelings of being "in love."

This fact escaped me for decades. It's still a mystery to most people.

The majority of people in the world believe that love emanates from outside themselves. They give away their powerful, personal gift of choice; letting other people control them.

I know what you're saying. If healing a broken heart was as simple as choosing to feel loving or not loving, why doesn't everyone do it?

Many reasons. First, the victim mentality runs rampant in our world. It is in every place, community, and society. It is easy. It relinquishes responsibility and falsely places the blame on someone else. It is common; and therefore, easy to find others to commiserate with. It doesn't take any courage to be a victim.

Secondly, we are conditioned from an early age by many stories of love and romance written in the past that we can't choose who we fall in love with. It's as though we are all just fish that get "hooked" on someone. We fall into the "love trap" and can't (or won't) try to climb out. In short, almost everyone thinks love and being "in love" is fatalistic, not within the control of the individual participants.

Lastly, since loving and being "in love" is such a special, highly personal experience, many people think they're alone - both during the happiness of love (AND during the sadness of heartbreak).

The feeling is so unique, that they feel like the experience of this kind of special love will never happen again.

What happens next? They cling desperately to the relationship, even if it's obviously destructive in other people's eyes. They feel inadequate and suspicious. They continually search for clues of infidelity. If none are found, they often manufacture them.

Instead of concentrating on building a loving relationship, they unconsciously sabotage themselves.

This is a recipe for failure, heartbreak, and unhappiness. It's an attempt to break the following unbreakable Universal Law:

WHAT YOU RESIST, PERSISTS. AND YOU ATTRACT WHAT YOU FEAR.

In other words, the fear of breakup will always lead to the breakup.

How do you prevent this? FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT, NOT WHAT YOU LOST OR DON'T WANT. For example, a fat person cannot get in shape if she/he keeps thinking about how fat she/he is. A poor man cannot get rich if he keeps thinking about how broke he is. And a lover who wants to have a great relationship cannot achieve it if she/he keeps thinking about how it will come to an end.

If you want a happy, loving life again, instead of thinking about how heartbroken you are, THINK ABOUT HOW HAPPY YOUR FUTURE IS.

Let go of the past hurt. The past is past.

In the case of a broken heart, you can never fully recover until you quit being a victim, realize that love and the feelings of love is UNDER YOUR CONTROL, and be certain that YOU ARE AT CAUSE. It's you, not anybody else that feeds the heartbreak monster.

Think again. Think hard!

When two people are together and one person is in love, who is doing the loving? Who is not doing the loving? Who will be (or not be) heartbroken if the relationship ends?

- You Cannot Be "In Love" Unless You are Loving -

Read this again: YOU CANNOT BE "IN LOVE" UNLESS YOU ARE LOVING.

This Life Truth, this Universal Law, operates whether you are conscious of it or not.

From the beginning of time, whether accidentally or by design, people have enjoyed the results or suffered the consequences, of following or going against this law. The Law is eternal and the cause and effects will never change.

I'm not saying to never to love again. I'm not espousing the hermit lifestyle. To be reclusive is to shut out all the natural wonders of the world and to block life's greatest gift - LOVE - from your life.

But what I am saying is this: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST. That's right. Love yourself. Be your own best friend. Accept your weaknesses to fully celebrate your special gifts and unique talents. It is all you. Love all of it. Look in the mirror each morning and say that you are becoming your own hero.

Loving yourself attracts others who will love you. You become a magnet for positive, beautiful people. Those people can and will love you in a way you've never been loved before. Those people will feel safe, comfortable, and excited to be around you.

This is because you have finally learned "The Illusive Secret of Happiness."

- What is "The Illusive Secret of Happiness"? -

The "Illusive Secret of Happiness" is this:

YOU DON'T NEED ANYTHING EXTERNAL, ANYTHING OR ANYONE OUTSIDE YOURSELF, TO BE HAPPY AND LOVING.

Once you realize this profound insight, you don't pressure other people (or external events) to "make" you happy. You are free to love abundantly. The more love you share unconditionally, the more love you attract.

You then have the ability to FORGIVE TOTALLY. You forgive yourself and you forgive all who have wronged you in the past. You do this for yourself, not for the wrongdoers. With each act of forgiveness, you feel lighter, happier, and stronger to love even more!

It's a great, never-ending cycle that can't be adequately described in words. You've got to feel it to believe it.

My personal description? It's a delicious feeling. It's the feeling I get when I see the first sun's rays on my beautiful girlfriend's lovely face. Then I thank my lucky stars (that is, I AM UTTERLY GRATEFUL) that I am me and I have the opportunity to love her.

This is the last, but not least ingredient for healing a broken heart and being happy - GRATEFULNESS.

BE THANKFUL. BE TRULY GRATEFUL. THANK THE (UNIVERSE, GOD, THE INFINITE INTELLIGENCE, ETC.) FOR ALL THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE.

This automatically attracts more of the same!

This I choose to do.

The fact that I know that it's my choice to love that causes my feelings of being "in love" doesn't lessen the joy of the experience. I observe AND fully enjoy the joy, the wonder of each loving moment.

So if you're suffering from heartbreak, find comfort in the words of this article.

(I recommend that you copy the following affirmations into another document, print it out, and post it in plain sight. Or privately, keep them handy in your purse or wallet. Read them AND FEEL THEM several times a day. It will instantly make you happier and stronger).

1. I AM AT CAUSE. I CAUSE MY OWN FEELINGS OF BEING IN LOVE - NO ONE ELSE DOES THIS FOR ME, BUT ME. PERIOD.

2. I HAVE THE POWER TO CONTROL AND CHANGE ANY FEELINGS I HAVE. I CHOOSE MY THOUGHTS WELL.

3. I KNOW THAT I HAVE TO BE LOVING TO FEEL "IN LOVE." (CONVERSELY, I CAN'T BE "IN LOVE" UNLESS I AM LOVING).

4. ANYTHING I RESIST, PERSISTS. AND I ATTRACT WHAT I FEAR. I NOW FOCUS ON WHAT I WANT, NOT WHAT I THINK I LOST OR DON'T WANT.

5. I NOW LET GO OF THE PAST. THE PAST IS PAST. I MOVE ON. I'M OVER IT.

6. I FORGIVE, FORGIVE, AND FORGIVE!

7. I SMILE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE I KNOW "THE ILLUSIVE SECRET OF HAPPINESS." IT'S ALL UP TO ME. I DON'T NEED ANYTHING EXTERNAL, ANYTHING OR ANYONE OUTSIDE MYSELF, TO BE HAPPY AND LOVING.

8. I AM THANKFUL, TRULY GRATEFUL. I THANK THE (UNIVERSE, GOD, THE INFINITE INTELLIGENCE, ETC.) FOR ALL THE LOVE AND HAPPINESS IN MY LIFE. I KNOW IT ATTRACTS MORE OF THE SAME INTO MY LIFE.

Wishing you more Living, Loving, Laughing, Learning, and Legacy building - It's what you were meant to do...

An excerpt from "My Friend Yu - The Prosperity Mentor: Book II. Release Date: December 2007/January 2008. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.

By Carl "J.C." Pantejo - Copyright 2007

(Author "My Friend Yu - The Prosperity Mentor," Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)

Carl Pantejo

Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com

He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an A.A., B.S., and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life - while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he free-fall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water. He went to Thailand 1 year ago for a week's vacation, fell into a teaching job, and has never left!

Carl Pantejo, Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com

Author, "My Friend Yu - The Prosperity Mentor"

Founder, Y.N. Vurce Publishing

[http://www.ynvurcepublishing.com]

Ten Secrets of Happy Marriages

My husband and I have been married for more than 14 years. These years have been the best years of my life thanks to him and his love. A great marriage is a great blessing, and a few months ago we were asked to share with other couples what makes for a happy marriage. Below are my 10 secrets for  happy marriages. I hope that by sharing what works for us helps marriages everywhere. Here goes.

1. Kiss each other often

Remember the song that goes "If you want to know if he loves you so it's in his kiss." A kiss is powerful. Your marriage needs this power daily.

2. Become best friends

Think for a moment about your best friend from your youth. Remember how you shared all your secrets? Remember how your best friend was the first person you told when something great happened, or when something not so great happened? Is that how you treat your spouse? Is he or she the one you run to first when you need someone to talk to? Do you share your secrets, your dreams, and your fears? 

3. Practice tolerance

Do you let your spouse's idiosyncrasies bother you, or do you overlook them and choose not to let the imperfections bother you? Be tolerant, nobody is perfect, and nagging your spouse about his or her imperfections will bring problems greater than the initial problem.

4. Forgive

Be quick to forgive. We all make mistakes, and at times others are hurt because of it. If you are the one hurt, be quick to forgive, and never hold a grudge, or bring up past mistakes. This only causes unnecessary pain and trouble.

5. Avoid criticism

Nobody likes to be criticized, and it is very counter productive to do so. Criticism will not help to create happy marriages.

6. Put God first

God is perfect, and His teachings are too. Living His teachings bring peace to your life, and peace to a marriage. Peace brings happiness.

7. Spend time alone with each other

Alone time is very important for happy marriages. Take time to be alone. Go out to eat, for a drive, or a walk. Take time for the two of you.

8. Look at your spouse with spiritual eyes

See you spouse as the perfect creation that he or she is. He or she is God's perfect creation. Treat him/her as such.

9. Be a place of refuge for your spouse

When your spouse has a bad day, be a soft place for them to fall. Listen sincerely, comfort them, be there for them. Be the better alternative to a stop at the bar, or a big bowl of brownie fudge ice cream.

10. Love always

This is self explanatory. Love always means exactly that. Love in marriage should be unconditional. Never use it to manipulate, but to bring happiness and fulfillment into your relationship.

Some of these secrets for happy marriages may come easy to you. Others may not. Do not let this list overwhelm you. Work on them one at a time until they become habits. The result will be a happy marriage and a stronger, more fulfilling marriage. To your happiness and success.

Hi. I believe in marriage, and a happy marriage is very rewarding. Anyone can have a happy marriage if they are willing to fight for it. Would you like help from a marriage expert? Click here! [http://savemymarriagemamasway.com] Your marriage is worth it. Is your marriage in trouble? Or are you just looking for some a way to improve it? Visit [http://savemymarriagemamasway.com] and join the many others who are enjoying the happiness that a great marriage brings to their lives.

The Secret of Happiness - 7 Steps

So, it may be a little later than some of my fellow coaches, but I've just discovered the secret of happiness...

Here it comes...

Happiness = P (5xE) (3xH)

There you go...

What, you want some further explanation?

OK.

Well in this formula devised by Cohen (2003)..

Happiness is a result of:

P (personal traits) - outlook, attitudes, personal resilience

E (existence) - the things the individual does to keep themselves fit, well and healthy

H (higher order needs) - self-esteem, ambitions, sense of humour

Now it would be easy to dismiss this as frivolous nonsense, but it is based upon some sound psychological and behavioural research.

Happiness is, after all, an emotion and like the wide range of emotions we are capable of feeling it is transient. More importantly 'being happy' is something that many many people desire or see as focus - a goal or personal ambition.

In some ways, perhaps, the wish to be in a constant state of happiness is neither desirable nor healthy.

Think about it for a moment.

If we cannot distinguish between a range of emotions how will we know WHEN we are happy, or for that matter sad, depressed, lonely. Perhaps emotionality, as perceived by human beings, is about the shades of emotional feeling; the subtle differences between differing emotional states.

Some drugs can keep you in an artificially emotionally neutral state, but does that lead to creativity, to inspiration, to connection with others at a deeper level?

Science-Fiction writers have explored the possible levels of social and politcal control that come from maintaining an emotionally neutral population. Is this really something we want.

Having said that, and with the wisdom that comes from Gene Rodenberry (the creator of Star Trek), George Orwell, Aldus Huxley, we can outline 7 key steps to personal happiness.

Some of these steps may take a little more work than others and that's where you might find some kind of external support useful.

1) KNOW your emotional state, recognise when it changes and what factors influence it. How you feel now is not necessarily the way you felt yesterday, nor the way you will feel tomorrow. Celebrate the cycles of your emotions.

2) HAVE ambitions, goals, dreams which motivate and inspire. Future-Histories that you can invest in, move towards and revel in. Set both achievable and awesome targets. The first will move you forward along a pre-defined path. The second will drive you to be something more than you can currently conceive.

3) RELATE creatively, collaboratively and emotionally with others. Keep those who inspire and move you close and let those who depress and control you drift away. People come into your life and they leave your life. Some will affect you greatly. Be aware of how you feel in each relationship and explore where each can take you.

4) SHARE your dreams and ambitions; your desires and your goals with those who you have strong, initmate friendships and partnerships. Listen to their dreams and ambitions. Many powerful relationships fail because of a lack of meaningful communication.

5) RECOGNISE that whilst your work may not make you happy, it can support you in being happy. A few fortunate individuals can earn a living doing what they love. If you can achieve that then work towards it. If not recognise that what you do does not need to define YOU but you can define how YOU relate to it. Remember the idea that we work to live rather than live to work.

6) KNOW that you can make a choice in every situation. Recognise and respect the choices you make and take an active role in your own life. Even when you think you have NO CHOICE consider what it is that causes you to feel that way and decide whether or not you are using the 'no choice-blame' thing as an excuse.

Know that there's no idealism about this and there is no way any accusation of 'laziness' aimed at individuals who are locked into a situation from which there appears to be no escape. If you feel you are one of these people then seek some external support to help you 'take back' your personal power - to recognise those aspects of your own life over which you can have choice.

7) BE PRESENT, BE YOU, BE NOW. Respect yourself and your abilities. Find ways to reward your achievements, celebrate your relationships and honour your choices. Develop your emotional literacy, your intellect, your physical health and explore whatever spiritual, metaphysical path completes you.

Alan.

Dr Alan Jones in an NLP Trainer, Motivational Speaker and Educational Coach who has worked with a wide range of clients including international organisations, education authorities, professional training providers and individuals. He is an Accredited de Bono Thinking Skills Consultant.

His colleagues recognise not only his particular skills as a trainer and presenter but also his eclectic interests. He is a magician (Member of the Magic Circle), mentalist, writer and broadcaster.

His 'pet' personal projects are Magic 4 Learning (teaching personal and learning skills through magic and conjuring); The Rational Mystic (bringing skepticism, mysticism and critical thinking together); EQUALISE (a Peer Mentoring project based upon key aspects of Emotional Intelligence and Emotional Literacy) and Mind Alignment/Achieve! - a project built upon NLP principles, aspects of Transpersonal Psychology and Emotional Intelligence which aims to inspire, motivate and encourage personal change.

You can find out more about his work by visiting http://www.aljones.net

The 3 Key Secrets To Happiness

What Are The Key Secrets To Happiness?

This idea for this article just came to me after reading a quote on a friend's status on Facebook. This got me thinking about something I heard the other day on the radio, Where they were discussing the nation's low happiness factor. Apparently, some statistician recently determined that most Brits are unhappy. I personally believe despite the negative media, the problems with the economy etc... We have much to be happy about.

Every morning when I wake and before I go to sleep at night. I take a moment to think of all the things that I am grateful for in my life. So many of us look upon the things that we don't have and forget about the things that bring us happiness and joy, I,e; family and loved ones:)

Below I have three personal keys to happiness.

I adopted in my life around a year ago now. My mood instantly improved the moment I heard these three ideas.

"When I was 5 years old my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I was in school my teachers asked what I wanted to be when I grew up... I said I wanted to be happy! They told me I didn't understand the assignment... I told them they didn't understand life!" - John Lennon

The Three Key Secrets to Happiness

1. Something to Do. I not going to lie, I'm really grumpy when I have nothing to do. I get so bored and that not me I love to be active. How many times have we felt unhappy with life because we simply had too much time on our hands and nothing to do with that time? I know it has happened in my own life. I only snap out of it when I start to get busy again. The thing is, we have to recognize this pattern and stay busy to keep our mood elevated. Remember a healthy mind leads to a healthy body. For me running and hill walking stops me from getting bored when I have nothing to and it clears my head and it gives me inspiration to do others things. Find something that keeps you busy. There are endless possibilities for "something to do" if we take the time to look.

2. Something to Love. Friends and family are such an important element to my life and ultimate happiness. I have spent many times away from my family, in the army and when traveling I would find myself in foreign surroundings, I missed my girlfriend and family comforts so much that sometimes it would distract me from my duties. The one source of inspiration to get through those weeks and sometimes months away was a visual thought of me holding my girlfriend and being with my family. My situation has now since changed and when I get down I still think of my Girlfriend and family and I can't help but smile. If you are single, you may have a best friend that always knows just how to pick you up, or make you laugh when you want to cry. Pets can even be an incredible source of companionship, I've had pets most of my life and marvel at their willingness to love us no matter what.

3. Something to Hope For. We all need something to hope for. Something that drives us towards that goal. It's been said that if you aim for nothing, you'll hit it every time. Have something to aim for; hold it close to your heart and never let completely out of sight. When people lose hope they get complacent, and complacency often leads to a poor attitude. This negativity can lead to depression, and potentially harm cherished relationships. I know, I've been in a rut myself many times and I lost sight of the dreams and also had many shattered. Protect your dreams! Hope However is never lost, you just may have to work a little harder temporarily to catch up and see those dreams around the next corner again. We are never defeated unless we quit!!

"The only difference in a rut and a grave is six feet." If you find yourself in a rut, stop digging. Take a moment to clear your head of the negative thoughts and start moving in the direction of your dreams and things will begin to improve. If your goal is to get out of debt I hate to say this but you will never get out of debt. If your always thinking debt you will always attract it. The mind has a habit of attracting things we want, and if your always thinking debt whether that to get out of debt whatever you will find you will attract more of it. We should all be expanding our means not living below them. The bottom line is we are responsible for our own happiness.

You might go through life getting temporary mood boosts from things such as a pay rise from your boss or but ultimately happiness is a self-induced state of mind. Be responsible for your own happiness.

Please share your personal keys to happiness in the comment section.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this article for more great content on life, goals and personal development please visit my personal site http://billyjury.com/

Secrets of Happiness

This is the first in a series of articles on the secrets of how anyone can create a happier less stressful day....everyday!

Abe Lincoln pegged it when he said something to the effect of, "people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be" Larry, are you saying that I can simply make a decision to be happier and it will happen? Yes, the results will begin immediately. Making what I call the Happiness Decision, is the first step, because once you realize that "if its to be it is up to me" and you take responsibility for your happiness or lack of, you just took ownership and responsibility for your life......and that my friend is just powerful!

The moment you make the "I'm going to be happier starting right now" decision, you just did something awesome! You just took back the personal control of your day and life. Simply becoming aware that you and you alone are indeed in charge of your life, thoughts, emotions and actions gives you tremendous power over your world and life.

Now, because you've made that Happy Decision, a whole new world of choices will open up to you. Choices you never new existed before! Why? Because, now that you've told your brain that happiness is now important and you have now decided to be happier, it will now make you aware of choices and paths to happiness that you had previously overlooked! A whole new positive, stress less day and life will begin to unfold before your very eyes!

Remember the popular phrase, "Have a nice day"? It's nice to hear and it shows that someone is trying to be polite and positive. But, where does "Have a nice day" put the control of your life? It puts it in the hands of other people, things and events!! Because "Have", depends upon chance and circumstance and since we live in a basically negative world, it won't be long (maybe minutes) before some person, event or thing comes along that is negative and "poof" you nice day is gone! You then spend the rest of the day buffeted around by the negative people, events and things around you.

So, since you've now made the Happy Decision, (you did make it didn't you?), I'm now going to give you a much better phrase that will remind you where your power lies plus empower you to take charge.

From this point forward, instead of saying, "Have a nice day", you will now say, "Make a nice day" or better yet, "Make a terrific or traa-mendous day" This will remind you, that you indeed are in charge of your day and you are going to make it a great day....because now you can!

You've heard of attitudes which are thought habits and beatitudes which are attitudes to live your life by. In the next Secrets of Happiness article, I will share with you the awesome power of my "BeHappytudes". Plus, you will learn the one that is my personal favorite because it has the power to literally turn your day around. You'll want to put this one on the fridge, mirror and around the house! See you next time and oh yes, "Make it a great day"

Larry Davis, is the founder of PeopleMagic Seminars, and believes that he can teach anyone how to create a happier day and then a happier life!

Larry has studied these and other life changing principles since 1966 when he read the book, "Think And Grow Rich". This learning adventure has taken him from The Napoleon Hill Institute, Zig Ziglar, to doing the Firewalk with Tony Robbins in Denver, CO.
He has traveled extensively in the last 12 years presenting over 3,000 self-help seminars to thousands of people nationwide. He is now proud to bring these life enhancing principles to you!
Questions or comments? Larry can be reached at: peoplemagic@insightbb.com or 812-598-1019

The Number One Secret of Happiness

I've been around this world a long time, and I've seen a lot of things during my 77 years. I've been married 48 years. (It seems like only 47.) Although I am a business coach now, I've been a therapist for over 30. People come to me because they want to be happier and I help them achieve a happier life. You might say that I am in the happiness business. I've learned a lot.

I'm going to share with you the number one secret of happiness. If you can't do this, you're never going to be happy. Life will be a struggle unless you have...

SELF-ACCEPTANCE. It means unconditional high self regard. It means loving yourself no matter what faults and imperfections you might have. No matter what mistakes you may have made. No matter how much your mother-in-law may criticize you.

You can't be criticizing yourself, putting yourself down, getting angry with yourself.

You might say, "I've made lots of mistakes. I've failed at a lot of things. I do not like making mistakes, I do not like failing. I just can't accept myself for that. I've got defects I don't even know I have (just ask my ex-wife). Besides, if I'm satisfied with myself, I'll never get better, never improve. How can you possibly say, I should accept myself unconditionally no matter what?"

I urge you to look at it this way. I have here a brand new $100 bill. Do you want it? Of course.

Suppose I crush it up, throw it on a greasy driveway and stomp on it with my shoe and grind into the oil. Still want it? Of course.

No matter how wrinkled, creased, soiled and stained, this bill has lost none of its intrinsic value.

You are like this hundred dollar bill, except you are like a billion dollar bill. No matter how many mistakes you have made, no matter how many times you have failed, no matter how many times someone got upset with you; your intrinsic value never diminishes. No matter how wrinkled or dirty you are, your intrinsic value does not diminish.

Everybody wants to improve. Business owners want to market their products better and to improve the morale and productivity of their workers. We all want to be better parents; always say the right things to our children, and be there for them. We want to be supportive and loving to our spouses and lovers. And of course, we want to reach our goals!

What do many of us do when we do not reach our aspirations? Do you call yourself a failure? Get angry with yourself? If you do, you're probably doing this to motivate yourself to do better the next time. You mean well, but it's a very inefficient approach. True happiness will elude you.

Let me tell you a true story about a CEO of a large meat packing company. He was a very determined man and lost his temper easily. Whenever he did not reach his goals, he got very angry at himself. He would stay that way for days. He was irritable at work, and worse, he was irritable at home. He said that was the way he motivated himself. Because when he was angry, he became twice as determined and worked twice as hard.

He treated his staff the way he treated himself. When they did not live up to his expectations, he became verbally abusive. I observed him at one of his team meetings. He ranted and raved at his staff for the full hour. Most of the subordinates just looked at the floor. I only saw one become energized by this treatment. That was because he had the same system as his chief. When I talked to the other people on his team, they told me they left demoralized, unable to concentrate or do any work for most of the day.

He told me this system of getting angry at himself is what motivated him to become a multimillionaire and head of this company. I happened to see him for marriage counseling (are you surprised, he needed marriage counseling?). His wife told me that she could not sleep with him because he was so restless and twitched all night. For his part, the man really missed sleeping with his beautiful wife.

When he finally understood all the pain and suffering his angry rejection was causing everyone around him, including himself, he made a decision. He decided to accept himself totally. In place of getting angry at himself to motivate himself, he motivated himself by focusing on his goals.

That man's business thrived. His home life was happier. His wife got rid of the twin beds.

He had discovered the key to ultimate happiness and success, which is just to accept yourself, be kind to yourself, forgive and love yourself. That is the key to ultimate happiness and success - to accept yourself where you are.

Your intrinsic value is based solely on the fact that you are you. You are unique. You have something to offer this world that nobody else has, that nobody else can be. If you truly want to enjoy your life, if you truly want to enjoy ultimate happiness and success, you must give yourself the gift of unconditional high regard.

Understand that when you made mistakes as a parent, or as a spouse, or as a business person; you did the best you knew how. Mistakes have in them the seeds of new learning. Every mistake is part of your education. I have an advanced degree in making mistakes.

I challenge you, right now, to make a decision that you will always have unconditional high self-regard. That you will from now on, take the lesson learned from your mistakes and so-called failures and move on. Leave them behind. Be determined to do better from now on.

When you are frustrated and angry because your goals are eluding you, and we all face such times, do not turn the anger on yourself. Turn the anger on the situation and harness the enormous energy that's in your angry feelings. But keep on liking yourself.

Not only will you be happier, the people around you will be happier, your spouse will be happier, your children will be happier - because you are happier.

You will succeed, and grow and improve quickly with less stress.

Again, I challenge you to always honor and love yourself. For that is the number one secret of true happiness.

c 2006 Stan Mann

Stan Mann, C.P.C. supports business owners, top executives and commission salespeople to substantially grow their business and have a balanced life. He is a Certified Professional Coach. For additional articles and resources please visit www.stanmann.com

Little Known Secrets of Happy Married Life

Every marriage is unique and there are just those little things that are special to you and your partner. For example the pet names you call each other; or the silly games you play. That's one of the secrets of a happy marriage. Keep the uniqueness the both of you have and happiness will always be nearby.

Understand your situation and your spouse. Do not compare your marriage with someone else's; after all you do not know what goes on behind closed doors. So much has also been said about communication. It is one essential ingredient to a happy and successful and marriage. Communication does not involve talking only.

It might be good to eventually get a silent partner to talk. But when they do talk; are you listening to them? It's important to be very receptive to what your spouse is saying and understand exactly what they mean. Most problems that arise in marriages are because of misunderstood words or intentions. So being attentive your partner is another you thing you can add to the list of secrets to a happy marriage.

When you have arguments with your spouse understand that it's not about having your own way or forcing your partner to see things from your point of view. Handle things in a responsible manner. This is the time you should realize the words you say you cannot take back. Always choose your words carefully when communicating with your spouse.

There are many secrets to a happy marriage really. Just being nice to your spouse is another. I'm talking about things like buying small gifts now and then; surprise them once in a while. These are just a few tips really but there are more. If you are really concerned about keeping your marriage happy; lots of information is freely available on the net.

Click Here > Make Marriage Work For Tips, Advise and Testimonials

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Finding Spiritual Fulfillment in Simple Things - A Secret of Happy People

What is happiness? Happiness is a feeling of contentment and fulfillment, it is about people living in tune with their values and, who are conscious of their spiritual needs. It is all about having self-respect, a clear conscience and, living a slower and simpler, higher quality lifestyle that allows you to enjoy and appreciate God's wonderful Creations. It is a secret of happy people and a key factor to healthy living.

Our interests, goals, and dreams in life revolve around happiness. We are happy when we do the things we enjoy most or achieve something we value. And, we can find it in the happy anticipation of hope. Here is what the Bible says about fulfilling your purpose in life, "A man's heart plans his way but, the Lord directs his steps."Proverbs 16:9. Give your future a purpose along the lines which are best suited to your nature and capacities.

Faith

We find spiritual fulfillment by going to church to hear the Voice of God and, to express our faith by acknowledging Jesus Christ in our lives. Humble people find fulfillment in their spiritual traditions that help to make a better mother and wife, father and husband and son and daughter.

Faith gives you strength, inspiration and a sense of connection to something much greater than we could ever imagine. The spiritually rich have a sense of faith beyond negative emotions. God is in their heart, they know only He, can satisfy the deeper longings of their soul that is looking into a future in the heavenly Kingdom of God. Their trust in Him reaps a rich harvest of spiritual blessings that, even when all they have is God to keep them going, that sense of connection brings comfort and reassurance.

With faith you see the world differently and live by values that encompass all that is good, moral and wholesome. Good character stands firm when built on God's foundation and, where the warm and loving, close-knit family is the epitome of traditional values. Faith provides an inner sense of peace that only God can offer and noble qualities that overflow into selfless service to others. This is the kind of faith the Apostles of our dear Lord, Jesus Christ were able to preach and change the world.

The Spiritual Poor

The spiritual poor allow their minds to be conformed to a modern and fast-paced world of bad influences, where time is money and, where godless thinking and loose standards are adhered to. Life is thought of by how much power, wealth or selfish wants one manages to accumulate to satisfy the ego. Physical life however, is temporary and things come to an end. Sooner or later, those individuals will be separated from their money and, their possessions. Jesus says in Matthew 16:26 "For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world and loses his own soul?" Wise indeed, is the one who learns the difference between superficial pleasure and true happiness. Jesus Christ is the Light of the World: "He who follows Me will not walk in darkness, but will have the Light of Life" (John 8:12).

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