The Secret to Happiness - In Your Grasp

I grew up with a counselor for a dad, so I was always hearing phrases like "nobody can 'make' you feel anything." I used to get really aggravated at my dad because, to my teenage self, of course everything was actually his fault - if he wasn't such a big bully of a dad my life would be perfect! It wasn't until years later that I came to realize that his often-repeated phrase held a secret to happiness within it.

You see, my dad was right. Nobody can make me - or you - feel any way you don't want to feel. You're in charge of your emotions and your life. That means that it doesn't matter what happens to you, you get to decide how you're going to react to any situation, good or bad!

Everyone knows somebody who can make the best of things crummy. When something good happens to this kind of person, they complain about it! It's maddening to try and do anything for them because they're just going to talk down about it (or themselves). This kind of person just wants to be miserable and unhappy. They want to be a victim. No matter how much they say they want to be happy or they want things to go right, the fact is they're happier being miserable.

You also probably know somebody who manages to be upbeat and confident no matter what trials life brings them. They talk positively and they actually seem to inspire all the people around them. These people have decided that they're going to look at the world in a positive way. The phrase "see the world through rose-colored glasses" applies to these people.

The secret to happiness is that you decide to be happy. That's right - it's all up to you! You were born with a free will, and you have the right to decide you're going to be happy. That may involve some change. It does for most people, because most of us are not just "naturally happy." So you need to be ready for happiness by being willing to change. But if you're willing to change, you can be happy.

Sometimes you may be tempted to justify staying unhappy by saying that happy people are naive people. You might think that they just ignore all the realities of life and float around thinking everything is all sunshine and rainbows. There may be some people like this, but face it - this is really just a justification on your part to stay the same grumpy, unhappy person you've always been. It's a convenient excuse to get out of the work that change takes.

The reality is you can be a wise, prudent, and intelligent person while still having a positive outlook on life. You can be happy and confident without being foolish or naive. Don't blindly take everything at face value. Consider the situations that you're in and decide the best course of action - but make the conscious decision to do it in a positive way. You'll find that you're happier (because you want to be) - and you're able to attract the situations and the people you want in your life.

Kristen loves writing about personal growth - especially growth for women and moms. She spends a lot of time developing a resource on personal development filled with articles on growth, time management, happiness, and other topics of interest.