An abiding feeling of happiness is the end goal of your existence as a human being. If you're feeling happy, right now, then nothing else matters. And if you're not feeling happy right now, then nothing else matters.
Here's a thought experiment. Think of something you want. Perhaps you want a new car, or a more spacious house. Perhaps you want something important for a loved one, such as for your son or daughter to get in to their first choice of college.
When you ask yourself, "If I had that, fully and completely, what would that give me that's even more important?", what comes to mind? Write down the answer.
Repeat asking this question on your new answer, over and over again, until you get to a point where the answer doesn't change.
That "fixed point" answer is usually something abstract and spiritual like "happiness", or "peace", or "oneness". It's very unlikely to be something like "popularity" or "money" or "a new boat". This simple exercise illustrates the point that we don't seek things in the material world because those things themselves are meaningful to us. Instead, we seek those things because we want to experience the feelings that we believe they will give us. And perhaps the most important feeling of all is that of happiness.
Experience shows that a lasting experience of happiness is created by some life experiences but not others. "Getting what you want", is always fun, and will boost your mood for a while. This is true whether the thing you want is something material, like money or possessions, a goal like earning a university degree or running a marathon, or something more abstract like recognition from peers or popularity among other people. However, after you adapt to having that thing you want as part of your life, it will no longer boost your mood. "Getting what you want" can never create lasting happiness.
On the other hand, there are a few habits that you can practice regularly that will create permanent positive shifts in your level of happiness.
Meditate. Numerous scientific studies have demonstrated the positive benefits of meditation on practitioners' moods and experience of well-being. It's not an accident that the so-called "happiest man in the world", Mathieu Ricard, is a Tibetan Buddhist monk who is a highly experienced practitioner of meditation.
Express gratitude. Approaching your life from a standpoint of gratitude is likely to create a feeling of happiness. People who are envious and resentful are always focusing on what is "wrong" with the world rather than what is "right". Fighting with reality is a proven and well-worn path to negative emotions. Conversely, when you practice living in a state of gratitude, it's hard to avoid loving reality exactly as it is, and this is a great road to happiness. This doesn't mean that you can't work to change things that are imperfect or fight injustice. However, it's always better to do this kind of work from a place of acceptance rather than a place of resistance.
Be loving. Lester Levenson said that when he felt loving - and thereby expressed his love for other people - he would automatically experience a feeling of happiness within. When you give away or express what you feel like you are missing or lacking in your life, this often turns things around for you. You can rediscover what you thought was missing. Volunteering your time to help others is one scientifically validated way to put this principle into effect.
Serve a purpose greater than yourself. For many people, this comes from a religious or spiritual practice, though it's not necessary to be a believer in order to put this principle into effect. It could be a goal such as raising children well, growing a business or a non-profit in order to give value to others, or simply living in alignment with a personal code of ethics or philosophy. As described by the psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a so-called "flow state" comes from a forgetting of the self and the ego, and immersing yourself in challenging, creative activities that you truly enjoy. When you are able to spend much of your time in a state like this, time passes, work gets done, and you experience happiness naturally.
It may sounds like a cliche, but it's true nonetheless - happiness does not arise from what you have or what you earn, but from your mindset and from your actions in the world. By practicing the habits described in this article, you can increase your experience of happiness in life starting today.
Dr. Jack Bennett is a life coach and blogger. Jack writes about happiness, habit and behavior change, and personal development at http://thirtytwothousanddays.com. He is a endlessly curious guy who's passionate about living a life of happiness, abundance, contribution, and inner peace.
The title of his web site refers to the approximate length of a human life - a reminder to seize the day and take action on the dreams and goals that are most important to you.
To learn more about the transformational life coaching services offered by Dr. Bennett, please visit his coaching page at http://thirtytwothousanddays.com/blog/coaching/ where you can sign up for a complimentary 30 minute coaching session.
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